Udaan bharne do..

udaan bharne do...
chu k aane do asmaan k kono ko,
in pankhon ko apni takat ki pehchan karne do.
ab naa roko, hawaon se ladne do.
udaan bharne do...

lene do hissa chitij tak ki daud mein,
thoda haarne do, jitne ki hod mein.
ab kab tak khilaoge apne munh k niwaale mujhe
zara apne zor pe dum bharne do
girne do, khud hi sambhalne do;
udaan bharne do...

bethasha udne do hosh khokar,
dekhne do udte panchiyon k kafile mein shamil hokar;
bheed mein khokar khud ki khoj karne do.
ghonslon k ghutan mein ab jee nhi lagta,
ki ab asmaan ko hi mera aashiyana banne do.
udaan bharne do...

panchiyon ko aati nhi koi bandish nazar
udd chalte h befikr ji chahe jidhar...
ab naa baandho bediya..
mujhe waqt k pinjre mein naa bandhne do..
khwaab hakikat karne do...
udaan bharne do..

:)

Na jaane tab kya hoga...

Jab saalon se chalta karwan saanson ka,
ek lamhe mein ruk jaayega.
Jab seene par sir rakhega koi saathi,
aur dhadkan sun naa payega.
Jab chetna samvedna se bhara ye badan;
jad, shav ho jaayega.
Na jaane tab kya hoga…

Kya phir tum aaogi?
Har bair bhula kar k manka,
do aansu tum bhi bahaogi?
Jivit mujhko toh apna na sakien,
kya mrit mujhko apnaogi?
Tumhara aana, apnaana hi priye,
meri tripti ka sadhan hoga…
Jo tum naa aayi toh sochta hu,
naa jaane tab kya hoga…

Kya tum hogi wahan saath unke…
Maa meri jab roegi?
Woh paayegi mujhko har kahin,
Har pal mujhko khoyegi.
Meri tasveer laga kar k rakhegi seene se;
Meri aahat mein jaagegi, raaton mein jab soyegi.
 Tab dilaasa dene kai log aayenge;
Par sahaara dene o priye,
Tumko bhi aana hoga.
Jo tum naa aayi toh sochta hu,
Naa jaane tab kya hoga…

Pita mere kisi kone mein,
kathor ban baithe honge.
Ashru ki asankhya shrankhla ko,
palkon k baandhon par roke honge.
Jab jab daanta h mujko,
uss pal k liye khud par  gussa karte honge.
Tab kya tum pas jaogi unke?
Ki kuch farz mere hisse ka,
tumko bhi nibhana hoga.
Jo tum naa aayi toh sochta hu,
naa jaane tab kya hoga…

Gar yakeen dila do tum abhi,
toh mein sukun se jaaunga.
Raat k chamkile nabh ka,
koi taara mein ban jaunga..
Warna phir darr lagega mujhko
ki gar tum naa aayi aur mein chala gaya,
toh meri choti si duniya ka anjaam na jaane kya hoga.
Jo tum naa aayi toh sochta hu…  naa jaane tab kya hoga.

Woh kuch badla sa laga..

Aaj baat hui usse...
mizaaz uska kuch rukha sa laga...
wada karke gaya tha woh laut k aane ka
aaj pehli bar jo jhoontha sa laga...

rokte the usse,
toh kehta tha hanske..
ki jald aaunga mein.
phir dekhna ki har khusi jannat ki
khatir tumhare zameen pe launga mein.
reh takte rehna bhi aadat mein shamil tha.
aaj pehli baar sab dhokha sa laga.
Aaj baat hui usse...
mizaaz uska kuch rukha sa laga...

jab tha karib...
toh ehsaas dilaata tha
ki hum hi hain zindagi uski..
humse shuru hoti thi, hoti thi khatam hum pe
sab khwahishein uski...
sochte hain ki kya badla..
ki ab sukun saara dil ka khota sa laga.
Aaj baat hui usse...
mizaaz uska kuch rukha sa laga...

andar andar woh khud badalta rha...
aur saamne, meri zindagi badal dali
phir aadat laga k bola
meri aadat hi kyu dali..
sahaara de de kar niyat bigaadi
aur ab jo jo bhi diya tha..
haule haule leta sa laga
Aaj baat hui usse...
mizaaz uska kuch rukha sa laga...

The moon and the mountain

They are apart,
but from where I sit
they look so close… connected
the moon and the mountain…

Every Night,
When the world turns of the lights,
moon drifts towards the mountain;
like you drift into my dreams,
simile is perfect it seems…

they stay together for long
for they share a bond… strong.
I see their souls touching
like the perfect pair,
with their fingers clutching.

Moon then slowly hides behind the mountain,
adding up to its grace.
It then never comes out again.
From the corners,
comes out the moon light,
expressing the moon’s delight
I wonder what will happen
when the sun will arrive.

All I know is,
it will destroy this sight.
There will stay only mountain
with no moon neither moon light…

Or might be moon will stay there,
besides the mountain.
You can’t see it, for its bright
waiting to be seen again
together in the night.

Dear this is the perfect view.
I wish if this time I were with you.
Jealous of the moon and the mountain
I miss you…

H koi!

ek lamha bhi jisko soche bina guzara nhi
jisse milne k khwab ko,
aankhon se ab tak utaara nhi
h koi aisa
jo humaara sab kuch h par humaara nhi

woh jiski baatein saari, yaadein bankar k aati h
jiski hansi kaanon mein, bewaqt gunj k jaati h
h koi aisa
jikr bhar se jiske, dewaangi cha jaati h

dil ki dharti par jiske, kadmon k nishaan hi baaki h
jiske reh takte akhiyan, bechaini mein jaagi h
h koi aisa,
meri dil ki kashti ka jo, ek akela manjhi h

jiska ho jaane ki dil aksar mujhse karta h
jisko paane ki chahat mein, dil aksar mera jalta h
h koi,
naam bhar se jiske, ek sukun ajab sa milta h…

h koi,
jisse mujhko pyar h,
h koi,
jise kisi aur ka intezar h….

Owner of a lonely heart.

Living by the hope that the one gone will someday come back n fill that place in her heart, she spends her nights with moon and Stars... and solitude. No one is allowed to reach in her heart... for she defends his place in there... That's her love.

I want her to know... that might be there is someone who don't exactly don't want that place... just need a corner in there, far below his place. He just want to kill that silence which ceases everything in her life to still.

Because he don't want to be... and more importantly don't want her to be THE OWNER OF A LONELY HEART...

Before The Sunrise..

It’s been several months; I have been silently following her through her life. At times, when we have crossed each other and our eyes have met, I have failed to supress my admiration for everything she is; yet we are strangers. At least, I’m, to her.

She left her home quite late tonight; which is unusual, she mostly stays at her home at night; often seen dwelling with a novel by Paulo in her hands, in her living room, from her apartment window.
She covered herself well in denim and leather for the cold winds outside. Walked in her bellies, on the footpath, silently; hands in pockets. Crossed the red light, the book shop and the café; gazed at a poster saying “Find Love…” laughed mockingly and continued. Soon she reached the road cornering the lake. She glanced at the lake, shining in stars and moon; then she shifted her gaze to the old cottage at the farthest end of the lake. Unable to control her enticement about it, she ran.

Old guard there somehow knew she would come; and looked like he awaits her. He opened the gate with a polite greeting as she reached there. She reciprocated the greetings in a hurry and paced to the backyard, on to the platform over the lake. She stopped with a momentary pause in her heart beat- breath. She smiled.

It was a covered platform, with to chairs and a small dining table at its centre. At the centre of the table stood a withered candle light stand, waxed and decorated with a red lace, dulled with time. She took up a small bell from the ground; it seemed to be the one used in decorations for various celebrations. She placed it on the table; removed her bellies, sat on the chair with folded legs, pulled her jacket tight. Smiling, as if she is remembering something grand and delightful from her life, she took a ring out of her pocket; a platinum ring, with a tiny diamond as it’s centre piece. Played her finger with it, she then placed it on the table near to the bell. Took up the bell and ringed it; sat gazing at the ring, the stand, the table, the lake… Hour later, Just before the sunrise, she took up the ring.

After she left, I went up to the platform, picked up the bell and kept it in my pocket. To my best find table had a message, carved beautifully, and was made to look antique by the time.

“Today, I gift you my life; Happy birthday Darling.”
                                                                                  26th December, 2009

I stood there quietly, sun rose over the lake, and it sparkled… after a while I left.

… Happy Birthday!

A Lone Walk In Solitude.

She often use to visit here from her childhood days; perhaps no one else use to. It is an unpaved path might be made up of her own footsteps. She feels connected to every little thing around... she feels bonded.

This place has witnessed her missing her mom and dad when they were away... the mud has soaked her tears when he left; this place has shared all her grieves from the first one. If there is a part of her which is still in love, it is in love with this place which has been there all the time. The place she knew would always welcome her and will be hers forever.

She is on her walk through this place...

She delicately moves her hand over the greens and the flowers and the barks. She bends at times to see the marks she made there in her childhood days; she smiles at times, but momentarily... as if an old memory tickled her somewhere for a speck of a second. Her expressions then again turn plain, and the glow on her face fades. She continues to walk. She walks naked feet with her bellies in her hand and feels the chill from the mud below... it seems to calm her down, sigh of relief is yet nowhere visible.

The path ends into a circular space, bordered with tall trees, build naturally. A stone rests near to the center; she walks to stone and sits over it. She then closes her eyes, memorizing all that happened from her last visit... memorizing how she again began to care about someone... how that someone began to love her... how they still ended... how she let him go... how she is all alone yet again... tears began to flow from the corners of her closed eyes... then She cries loudly. And again mud soaks her tears...

Hours later she stands up and leaves to live again...

The Winter Rain.

“The faded colors of life,
the dim beams of light,
strange is to see,
the drenched world with liquid eyes”

It was a winter rain…

She was staring out of the window; might be on that banyan tree, on its withered leaves, or on its dark brown bark projecting out of the grassy land. Or she wasn’t even aware of her continuous stare out of the window. She was just sitting there lost in some never land, she always wanted to be a part of… She wasn’t looking sad, neither was she happy. Her expressions were plain; eyelids were like curtains prohibiting you to see beyond. She was just sitting there, might be waiting for someone, and might be since time unknown.

Then the first drop fell on her wrist, several other followed; it rained. Something embellished her face… Was it a smile or a sigh of relief? Whatever it was, it increased her beauty many folds. The rain drops crossed the fabrics of her dress, and touched her skin. They were cold and created the same sensation as the hand of her long gone lover. She felt as if he is there, He has come; the phase of waiting is over. She ran to the terrace, and gave herself to the rain. The chilly winds on the terrace made her feel like the breath of him. She let the rain to touch her all over. She sat at a corner there, like she has scarified herself to the rain, the wind or to the arms of her lover.
The hands of her lover were to give her that intense warmth after sometime, but this was winter rain. It made her feel colder. She realized it was not him… It was rain… the winter rain, chilling and killing; She felt as if she was in arms of some another man, She was now afraid. That thing which embellished her face was now gone. She cried as if he was gone again. She came back to her room, changed and sat near that window staring out, not allowing a single drop of rain to touch her… waiting.

The Simple Things

From the depths of my mind,
a memory fled;
formed a delusion, played over in my head.
I saw u and me... and simple things.
They say I went blind.

A simple sunset,
And a simple rain;
just u and me… and a lonely lane.
Simple talks, and smiles;
Hand in hand for another mile.
Thing so ordinary, we used to do.
things yet special, just because of you.

Oh a memory fled, from depths of my mind.
I saw a delusion,
of u and me, and simple things.
They say I went blind.

Then there we stood,
U in my arms,
Close, as close we could.
A simple kiss and a divine bliss
a simple dance, humming a simple tune
amidst sparkling stars, and the same old moon.
Things so ordinary we used to do.
Things yet special, just because of you…

Oh a memory fled, from depths of my mind.
I saw a delusion,
of u and me, n simple things.
They say I went blind.

As we stopped,
U looked into my eyes;
said. “I have found it all, now I can die.”
I stopped u there…
and you simply smiled.
asked, “Will u be happy?”
I lied.
We sat together arms in arms.
“Death is ordinary.” u said…
“missing is ordinary as well, I bet”
And this ordinary thing I still do…
thing yet special, just because of you.

Oh a memory fled, from depths of my mind.
I saw a delusion,
of u and me, n simple things.
They say I went blind.

I wish they were lying, but they are true.
I know you are gone…
and I’m alone…
now I am awake,
reality is far lonelier, than I can take.
If that’s the way to see you,
Let the delusion play;
with u and me… and simple things.
Let another memory flee, from the depths of my mind.
Let me again, go blind.

Kaise lagau mein Kajar..

Sajan bireh mein, nain asuuan ka sagar..
Sakhi, kaise lagau mein kajar...

Maiya bole, sringar kari Lai..
Tohe dekhan pardesi ayi h..
Bitiya mori ko... arre koi taiyaar kari h..
Kaise bole maiya ko..
pardeshi naa.. Mohe priyatam chahi h..

Reh mein jiski, nain jhar jhar baras rhe,
Bann k kaare baadal...
Sakhi kaise lagau mein kajar...

Babula shor machai h..
"Arre gudiya ko jaldi Lai h"
Aur Gum- khusi mein bole...
Bha jayi h babu ko bitiya meri,
Phir pardesh ko jayi h..

Sakhi.. sjan na aaye...
Ab rokein khud ko, toh kaise rokein..
Kadam kadam par chalke ab toh,
Naino k do gaagar..
Bol.. Kaise lagau mein kajar...

"Mann bhari...
Kuch bujhe naa..
Naata judta aur koi te..
Par laagi tohse chote naa...
k.. Bhar bhar aansu se,
Bhaye nain.. Jaise sagar
Sajan.. Kaise lagau mein kajar...."

Sochta hu..

Khamiyan gina kar jaate h,
Sab khubiyan dekh,
dil lagane waale...
rein basere sa dil h mera;
kuch palon ka ghar..
phir latakte taale...
Par ek tum ho..
Mere saath, mere pas...
Jahan se pare.. Alag- niraale.

Sochta hu.. Ki tum kab tak rahoge?
Mere nukhs kitne sahoge..
Darta hu.. Ki kho na du...
Badalta hu.. Sudharta hu..
Bigadta hu.
Tumhari pasand ka hone ko..
Har kuch hi toh karta hu..

aur sochta hu...
jo tum na hoge, toh kya hoga?
Ek gunzti khamoshi.. Ghirti dewaarein...
Kuch log honge..
Khubiyan dekh dil lagaane waale.
khamiyan dekh chhod jaane waale...

A Conversation.

Hum tum kya hain?
dost? Forever waale?
par pata h...
bichadna kismat h apni...
Dost toh bichad jaate hain..
Yeh din toh jhonke se hain..
guzarna fitrat h inki.. Yeh guzar jaate hain.."

"Haan.. par kuch baatien h,
jo kaha bhuli jaati hain...
Kuch baaton ki yaadein aksar,
raat ki train pakad kar..
Yaadon k seher se, khwabon k seher aa jaati hain..
Kuch chehre hain,
Jo kahan bhule jaate hain..
Aakhon k theatre mein, palkon k parde girte hi..
Khayal unhi ki picture chalaate hain..

yeh dost hote hain.. Jo forever k liye humse jud jaate hain."


"par chehre dhudhlaane lagte hain..
Awaaz bhul jaati h..
Nayi baaton ki nayi yaadon ki bheed mein..
Puraani yaadien kho jaati hain..
Train unki aksar miss ho jaati h."

"arre buddhu..
Par dil ka woh kone waala hissa..
Phir bhi unka rehta h..
Woh aa hi jaate h muskaan leke
Jab mann akela hota h..
Aur phir.. Dhundh hat jaati h cehron se,
Ek aisa ujaala hota h..."

"toh... Hum tum kya h?
Dost? Forever waale?
Aur agar.. Mujhe tumse pyaar ho gya toh?"

"toh matlab?? Abhi nhi h...??"

giggles.

After a while when one was sitting alone...

"hai."
:)

Song of your soul.

I'm breathless, and a reckless melody.
I'm the rhythm, I want you to feel.
Don't you remember?
I'm that song- song of your soul.
O play me- play me once more.

you had me in your head,
when you walked down that road;
alone and lost.. out of control.
you had me there,
in gardens of smiles.
you had me in your head.. all the time.
oh damn you forgot!
I'm that song- song of your soul.
O play me- play me once more.

I'm the words you want to hear,
the tune that makes you to cheer.
I'm for you, in leads n chords;
in electronics and acoustics, in all sorts.
remember..
I'm that song- song of your soul.
O play me- play me once more.

You have lost me somewhere...
An old withered record,
under the pile of new ones.. I'm right here.
Difficult to be found, I know I'm;
just search the back of you mind,
I'm also there..
hum me in a tune.. n smile when you do..
sing.. sing me once more.
I'm that song... song of your soul.