We left the place. She dragged me out, pleaded; else I don't know what would have happened. I was angry- furious. As we reached her place, I placed myself on the couch; contemplating all that happened, all that they said about her- how offensive it was- How can they? My anger was stuck to my face. It wanted to come out. "We shouldn't have left." I said.
She sat beside me; smiled, held my hand and said, " It's not just them who offended me- n you. Every second person in that crowd, in that lynch mob, speaks the same in his mind. They discuss the same in groups. You can't fight them all. I don't want you to. One like you, I cannot afford to lose in these petty fights. Calm down Pushkar, please- for me."
Words they said were resonating. I believed that they should be taught a lesson; not realizing how weak a person I was infront of those beastly men. I wanted to fight. She was still holding my hand, looking at me, expecting a smile- smiling.
"How can I calm down? How can you be this calm? How can you ignore this.. this shit?" I burst out. She shouldn't be that weak woman who let the wrong to happen to her, who doesn't retaliate. She shouldn't be, I thought.
She sat quiet- staring through me onto something her senses captured in her past. She began, abruptly breaking the silence.
"Remember that movie- Guzarish? A bee sat on Ethan's face. It was annoying; he tried to flew it away. He moved his head right and left- up and down in anger. He was restless. But soon, he discovered his helplessness. n after that I remember his face with a bee sitting on it. You remember that smile? That calmness?"
She looked straight into my eyes, "You see the same on my face. A certain sort of calmness, patience just come along, when at point in life you meet helplessness. This is India Pushkar." She took a pause, "To know how I can just ignore, and maintain my calm, you have to take a rebirth and grow as a girl in India.. or have to become handicapped!"
We sat in silence. I kept on thinking... What in her life she would have been through? I was angry on everyone who made her feel helpless, on the world, on God- & myself. At some point of time, I slept- in her arms.
She sat beside me; smiled, held my hand and said, " It's not just them who offended me- n you. Every second person in that crowd, in that lynch mob, speaks the same in his mind. They discuss the same in groups. You can't fight them all. I don't want you to. One like you, I cannot afford to lose in these petty fights. Calm down Pushkar, please- for me."
Words they said were resonating. I believed that they should be taught a lesson; not realizing how weak a person I was infront of those beastly men. I wanted to fight. She was still holding my hand, looking at me, expecting a smile- smiling.
"How can I calm down? How can you be this calm? How can you ignore this.. this shit?" I burst out. She shouldn't be that weak woman who let the wrong to happen to her, who doesn't retaliate. She shouldn't be, I thought.
She sat quiet- staring through me onto something her senses captured in her past. She began, abruptly breaking the silence.
"Remember that movie- Guzarish? A bee sat on Ethan's face. It was annoying; he tried to flew it away. He moved his head right and left- up and down in anger. He was restless. But soon, he discovered his helplessness. n after that I remember his face with a bee sitting on it. You remember that smile? That calmness?"
She looked straight into my eyes, "You see the same on my face. A certain sort of calmness, patience just come along, when at point in life you meet helplessness. This is India Pushkar." She took a pause, "To know how I can just ignore, and maintain my calm, you have to take a rebirth and grow as a girl in India.. or have to become handicapped!"
We sat in silence. I kept on thinking... What in her life she would have been through? I was angry on everyone who made her feel helpless, on the world, on God- & myself. At some point of time, I slept- in her arms.
