Life: Recollected.

this thing needs a makeover!

2012-01-05T10:07:00.000-08:00

God!! It is all unorganized and stupidly written.
I think I need a new start with this blog. If you are reading this kindly visit my another blog www.thepostings.typepad.com for the time being; this one will be back after a makeover.

ty :)

Kahani ek raat ki..

2011-11-10T11:41:00.005-08:00

Yeh kahani ek raat ki h,
jab palkon k kaale asmaan tale
ek khwab adhura baitha tha...
kal toh ithla rha tha,
keh rha tha, hakkikat milne aayegi.
Apni shiddat par itraata tha woh,
jo aaj akela baitha tha...

Kuch sehma sa tha,
aas k tukde, jo bhikhre the zameen par,
ghur rha tha unko...
aur haule haule khud tukdon mein tut-ta ja rha tha
ek tukda hua ki hakkikat aati toh yeh hota
dusra tukda- ki hakkikat aati toh woh hota..
toh tutaa woh, ek aasihq jaise;
woh hota h naa,
k woh aati toh ye hota
k woh aati k woh hota.
bhikra woh..

phir barsa kuch paani jaisa,
uss khwabon k duniya k andar bhi,
aur bahar bhi.
beh gaya woh khwab aur purze uske,
susaan ho gayi khwabon ki duniya..

tabse koi bhi khwab ghabrata h,
mere khwabon ki duniya mein aane se
shayad... usne bhi suni h kahani uss raat ki
jab palkon k kaale asmaan tale,
ek khwab- adhura, akela baitha tha.

Realization.

2011-09-01T06:58:00.000-07:00

Image via WikipediaIt sparkled, bright and beautiful,
A ray from above, blessed the drop of my grief,
Like a tiny diamond it shined over my face..
a sight so serene- to behold forever, yet very brief.
I wouldn't have known such beauty, in my life,
if I hadn't lost- hadn't cried...

my life- A kid's perspective..

2011-08-02T12:09:00.000-07:00

First of all... Thanx Shivika! for bearing with all this on that page.

Ahmm... I will copy the the whole conversation.. which is mostly one way. well, the purpose is, that u people get known with the idea, I'm going to bring in my writingg of this blog.

So read it once.

Shobhit Sharma
Might i ask u something?
Shivika Sachdev
yes...tel me?ill surely read d novel 'room'..anythn else u wnt to say?
Shobhit Sharma
ahmm.. actually can i do some silly sort of writing here, something which can come undr a title of my life: the kids perspective.. may be.
i can't actually access my blog frm phne + i dont wanna rite it thr.
n my phn lyk this of page a lot... it opens super quick.
latr i will, copy it to a new blog i'l create.

u can read it, but in secret n if u lyk.

so, if u lyk the idea.. let me knw.
Shobhit Sharma
Oh thats a kid's perspective.. n highly influenced by room.
u are nt replying.
but i'm having an itch to rite. so i do, dun mind.

Mrng.. i took a bus 4rm dahanu station. Bus is a car, but big, so can occupy many n its nt own by ne1's dad but by government. Government is the one who owns evrything nt owned by people. well i bought the tickets for three of us, me, bhabani n devang.. we are friends. u have to buy tickets to travel coz the money then wil be used to fil the petrol. my tickets cost 786, which is god's no. It is ironic coz we were coming to shirdi.. which is god's city.. not exactly god's city coz sai was nt god but superhuman, healer n al... so they put him equivalent to god. he was poor then but is super rich nw...
so i was sitting in the bus thinking why is 786 god's no. It says no. doesnt exist when i call on it. n why does god choose 786 only? why not 777. might be he had it patent on his name.. lyk bond has 007, mr. bond is also a superhuman, i believe he wil become god.

contd.
Shobhit Sharma
Bond has super cool gadzets. Sai is all magic. neways patent is done to own a thing u cant touch. evry1 wants to own evry thing, its wierd.

oh! i realized Shivika, i didnt ask u to make a promise of secrecy... so cross ur heart... u just read it. do it! make a cross wid ur finger on ur chest... breast.. heart i mean. done? pls do.

we came here at 2.30pm. its all commercial.. i dun lyk it dis way... when religion is all commercialized. holy places must be peaceful.. i lyk churches but dun wanna change my religion.
we took a hotel room, it cost 750 non ac, bus wasnt ac even... i take ac bus to travel between dehradun n agra... non ac gets me to vomit, even today i felt lyk vomitting but my super metabolism convrted it into gas.. which went downwards.. i hate it but less than vomiting. i wish room cost 786 as well.. i wil pay tht much nehow. prashad cost 678 same digits u see.. thts some thing rite.
then we went puja, but they didnt allow to do that.. u hav to keep moving.. lots of crowd was thr. contd.
Shobhit Sharma
Sai was sitting on tht porch, all of gold. i told u he is super rich nw. i dont think he need tht money coz he is all stone nw.. meditating, but people still donate it.. why dont they give it to poor, if they have more of it.

we came bck n nw we are resting..

i'm tired fr i havnt slept 4 36hrs...

so good nini Shivika..
Shivika Sachdev
its nice....u shud continue with ur writing habbit...!!nd i promise i wil keep it as a secret..!!
Shobhit Sharma
:) Good wali mrng..
u crossed ur heart?.. thts important.
i'just woke up.
mrng is kinda good, pleasant except u have to wake up wid it.. wanted to sleep a li'l more.

wil continue.. thank you.
Shobhit Sharma
We are currently at bus station, which is the place for parking buses, mostly for a li'l time.. just enough to let the passengers sit in. In maharashtra bus stands are all dirty.. dirtier than those we have at our side. my bus wil come at 11.15... so we are waiting. i hate waiting, earliar i used to like it, now i hate.. thr is a reason... but its the most secret one.. but since u hav crossed ur heart i'll tell u.
thr is this girl, she became my online friend when we were in tenth... then in 11th n 12th we were bettr friends... n we began to talk on phn when i was in first yr. i felt we were close.. but she didnt came when i went to meet her... i waited 4 14 hrs... then i lft.
i was all emotional.. crying. i hate crying too.. n so to wait.
Bus has come.. non ac 786.
in bus nw.. its dirtier than yesterday.
neways, aftr 1 n a half year of pause, we talk again nw, but all differently. we means i n tht girl..
what is love? its just undrstanding, she had reasons n i undrstand them. contd.
Shobhit Sharma
She doesnt undrstands me.. thts coz she doesnt love. thts wierd coz.. i dun knw, she's complicated. Are all girls complicated? i dun knw.. Richa is nt or might b she is. Richa Gupta is my dearest friend.. near to prateek n Teju but less.. thts only coz we rarely meet.. else she would have been the best. Are u complicated? n u stil got that sweet delicate kinda voice? no specs hmm? u looked cute in them. tht much is what i remembr.. coz i was so shy wid girls.. except Namita, she's my sister.

we are in bus, but its stil in parking. i guess i should go get some watr.. oh it started. lng journey widout water.. nt good. or good, coz no water no pee.. no pee no problem.
they are distributing free audio cds of sai baba songs.. probably viruses. viruses are germs but they affect electronic only... i so wont play it on my laptop. laptop is this machine, which is complicated to explain but superest n awesomest.. supersomest! :)

now networks might go off. so only this much 4 nw. :)
have a nice day.
Shobhit Sharma
Network is neways invisible rays.. but they arent evr whr like light.
Shobhit Sharma
It's been boring in bus mostly, but outside is scenic... m listing music, current track: phir dekhiye frm rock on. i quite lyk it. track changed- put the blame on me.
in the evening, we wil go to Dahanu beach, its peaceful then to the restro cum bar near by. I dun drink but my friends do.. i tasted beer (yeck!) N whiskey (ajib!).. i tel u all these things are ovr rated. u drink?
i wil drink wine in Goa.. m in doubt, should i? Richa dont lyk it... m going Goa this 29th..

u didnt gave me ur no. n thats ideal girls dun give no. to just ne1. nehow take mine 9920024886, this 1 i'm using til 1st. my permanent no. is 9760163959. Cal me when u feel lyk.

i had watr frm a shop frm the stand.. but since water=pee n pee=problem.. m in problem... i hope he wil stop at some place soon 4 lunch may be.. lets nt talk abt pee.. thinking intensifies the effect.

we are in Nasik nw...
Shobhit Sharma
Current track: lak 28 kudi da, 47 weight kudi da. (that would mean she is malnutrioned)

free! had pee.. tht tree was too big, might be a pee effect.. i did used toilet coz it smelled lyk gutter.

track changed- tu raja ki raj dulari..

somebody offered me some prashad to eat.. i havent yet, mom said its nt good... but we hav god's no. 786.. tht means he wil save us 4rm nething wrng.. but i'm undr dilemma so kept it in my bag. we have prashad too, but we give it only to people we knw... if we wil meet b4 it rots or finishes of i'l give it to u too... though i dun knw u much, but i lyk u already.

bus is stil at nasik station...

current track: nit khair manga soniya mein teri.. lyk lyk!!

people come selling differnt thing.. here they eat evry thing wid pav.. its lyk bread but nt bread.. thicker n smaller... vada pav, samosa pav, bhuji pav, omlette pav, bajia pav, bhaji pav n what nt... me n devang we miss the taste of burger, coz dahanu is lyk india in 70's.. no fast food. :(
Shobhit Sharma
we wil b bck in mumbai on 26th.. till 29th.. head of reliance adag is thr.. i have to report thr, tht my intrnship is ovr..
intrnship is training in a company.. a project is to be done.. u may be paid.. or may nt be.. we r nt. :(
current track: jhonkha hawa ka aaj bhi..

stil at nasik.. chala lo bhai!!

u done wid tht novel?

k wil write in a while. hav to be wid frnds too..
Shobhit Sharma
Head office* of reliance adag, i mean.
Shobhit Sharma
finally moving 4rm nasik...
i guess, its been already a lot 4 u to read.. so, i wil write aftr u read it all..
Shobhit Sharma
ahmm.. no rply. koi ni..
i'll continue...

bck in my flat.. wondering why its called a flat.. there should be some logic.
here at dahanu reliance have a powerplant.. power plant is a big... system to produce power.. electricty.. which is this thing needed to run all things which are electrical..
i knw a lot abt it but its complicated... i work at coal handling plant, tht is when i actually go thr.. coz u hav to board the bus early mrng.. i told u what bus is, rite? and we are always late...

i did my report today.. its tht thing where u hav to write rubbish abt things u havnt done during the course.. almost done.
thn i watched this tv show.. vampire diaries. i want to be a vampire, coz they are super cool.. n they dont die.. i'll be a good one. but cant be out in sun... thts bad, nt lyking. l dun lyk warewolves... or might b i lyk them.
i talk to my mom today... n thr was as usual an arguement.. my relationship wid her is li'l complicated.

nw m just sitting alyk...watching ants moving on the table.

Sleepless…

2011-05-08T14:34:00.001-07:00

You just give my head a thing to think, and it takes away every little bit of sleep from in there… Tonight that thing is a guilt…

I’m sorry Shivraj… n I love you; in a brother kinda way I mean…

just that…

later.

Fark sa padta h...

2011-04-24T07:28:00.000-07:00

Jab koi baat bekaar ki,
uss par bankar aa jaati h.
jab befazul ki baaton par,
aise woh ro jaati h.
jab chehra uska kisi wajah se,
murjhaya sa lagta h.
fark sa padta h...

ussmein mujhmein kisi baat par,
anban jab ho jaati h.
kisi baat par meri uski,
baatein jab ruk jaati hain.
tab usko khone ka darr, mann mein,
halka halka sa badhta h.
fark sa padta h...

Dil ka har kuch keh dena usse,
kitna toh asaan sa tha.
uska ho jaane ka dil mein,
koi jab armaan na tha..
ab har lafz zubaan pe aakar k,
khamoshi mein badalta h.
woh kya sochegi iss baat se,
fark sa padta h...

Mujhko toh malum nhi...
par dil bole ki h sahi,
jyaada sochu, toh galat lage.
ab chain nhi mujhko kahin.
kya karun? ki saath bhi uska,
ab toh apne saaye jaisa lagta h.
jo ho naa woh saath mere toh,
fark sa padta h...

:)

Don't have a title for this...

2011-04-20T06:42:00.000-07:00

I have always considered myself lucky to be able to befriend people who are good at heart. She is my dearest friend; possessing a child’s heart, she’s kind of cute. Emotional she is, filled with compassion and forbearance. She is one hard worker, a volunteer, a leader. She has ambitions and a will to achieve them… As I say, she is you know, programmed. I say this, cause she is mostly away from deviations (as she says), lust, love and all that. However, she is a fun lover, loves outings, parties, dance… all that stuff. Of course she is a foodie; with fastest BMR possibly, she gets hungry again, within 15 mins. She loses temper (absurdly at times, to my guess), but for a while only, and then she’s fine; at least to the world, you know…

To me, she is important. In people for whom I can break my own constraints, in people who I believe will always be there for me, she is perhaps on the top.

You know, when you consider someone this important to you; you have to fight a feeling… of possessiveness. I believe it is natural to come. I’m fighting it… I’m fighting it good. But it’s still there, lingering uncontrollably in my head, during the days when she’s unable to take out time for me, at times, when I’m possibly between people I don’t want to be with, hoping for her, and she’s goes with her other friends. You know, it all sounds silly, I know that… I do; but it’s there. It comes when so many people directly or indirectly, make me realize it’s not me, she likes to be with… It’s a sinking feeling… But I’m fighting it. What makes me angry on myself is, that I doubt. Even when it’s all said and known, I’m unsure. I just want to realize. Anyhow, I believe I’m dealing well with it.

At times I wonder what kind of friend I’m. You know that message which says ‘Friendship is not about being together all the time, but about being there at the time…’ I believe it. But again why, I want to be with her… Probably, because the better one in me is to afraid to lose her, or that the selfish one in me is just too fond of her.

Anyhow, I smile when I see her (naturally that is…). All keep all that what is in my head, in to my head…

It’s about Tejasvita…

Later…

Things Of Importance....

2011-04-18T13:34:00.000-07:00

It’s been days I told Tejasvita, that I will write this. I have seen her under stress for things I considered unimportant, mostly thing which come to both of us as duties… I guess it’s her quality to do everything she does efficiently, and when things jumble up; she’s in stress. Also, in spite of her many efforts to let go, stress come to her with bullshits from unimportant people.

‘Why it affects me?’ has a simple answer that she’s important.

Things of Importance…

First, jot down five most important things in your life; may be people or your ambitions… things from abstracts to materials, the five most important. Continue the read once done.

Below is a little story…

I guess I was in 7^th. We went to our village. Every evening, I with my father and uncle used to go on a stroll to our fields. It used be a good time out there, my father used to tell me the stories of his days; how during his summer vacations, he used to help my grandmother with the fields, while my grandfather used to be in different cities for work. Well, my father is the one calmest person I know, one with big heart, one who keeps little and distributes more. It all looks decorative as I write but he is the way he is.

While returning from the fields, we went to… ahmm that place we tie our cattle and keep equipment used in fields, we call it ‘gher’. There, my grandfather was having an argument with someone. It was a feud on some silly topic. The person in front was a much younger guy, very rude and abusive to the old man. My father and uncle entered the argument. The dumb guy, after a little while said some literally bad words to my grandfather and my dad slapped him real hard… He was so much in anger; and the person was still speaking shit; I thought my father will kill him. I stood behind my grandfather, afraid. Anyhow, my rest three uncles came, and he was thrown out of our land. We made a family enemy then.

That night while sleeping beside him, I told my father “I have never seen you fight.” He asked, “You think I shouldn’t have?”

“Naah… just haven’t seen that. You didn’t even fight with him when that biker rammed our just 12 day old car.”

“Probably because I considered that cause unimportant for a fight.”

It sounded silly…

It may probably be considered of no use to some people, but has a secret of being a little more happy and content in life. Anything happening around you, must affect you only when it affects those things of importance in your life, else it’s doesn’t matter.

Now, just start thinking of the five things u noted and see for a change.

Later…

Good bye...

2011-02-27T06:38:00.000-08:00

this is from what I typed, while chatting to Deepti... however somewhere in between my connection died... so sharing wid u.

Since u are not typing nething.. n m getting bored.. 

so treat this as me talking to myself..

I just got a msg from DSA office of my college

be present in amphitheater in condolense of Nitisha Dwivedi.. at 11.30am 

Curiously, I went to her facebook account...

It was an open to all one...

clearly I don't know her... but she looked so happening

She loved cooking... once in her status she mentioned about enter to the kitchen after so long.. trying something new.. n failing

Dozens of her posts are motivational... teachings about living the best v can

n she is no more...

here is her last status msg.. 

Lines 2 b followed 2 make life better:

CRY as HARD as u want 2. But, just make SURE dat wen u stop crying,u never CRY 4 D same Reason again...

Confused, unorganized... that's me!

2011-02-26T10:28:00.000-08:00

An engineer, a poet or an author... a socialist, an entrepreneur... this is my 'wanna be' list. Dream of not being lost in the crowd; dream of coming out of the ordinary; grows and multiplies. Though, I'm performing no actions to guide it to reality.
A will of doing something for a certain dream generates every night.. as comes the dawn, it's lost. Sometimes, it is of starting with a grand story for a novel.. sometimes, it's working in a weekend school for poor kids... sometimes, It's just excelling in the studies... what and what not. All vanishing somewhere.

"I'm on the verge of sanity; few more blows and then, I may go insane."

Childhood ticklings...

2011-02-20T09:11:00.000-08:00

Once when i was a little kid mom gifted me a watch.. I was told to keep it safe 'nhi to jholi wala baba le jaayega'.

In the night I kept it in the cupboard where we used to keep medicines... I went sleeping... I woke up next morning, got ready n went to school.. School was good, me and my bench mate Surbhi, we used to talk about our marriage, kids n all... Well, i wanted to show her that watch, but i forgot it at home... I told her that i would show it to her the next day...

i went home n searched 4 my watch... It wasn’t there, i was afraid; coz i didn’t wanted to make a bad impression in front of her. Also n majorly, i was petrified about telling mom that i couldn't find it... Well mom came to know about it in few days n i was scolded. Surbhi said that she would share her watch with me... It was with thin strap n girly... I didn’t like the idea, but liked that she presented it...

After two-three years, when we were leaving new Tehri, i was packing my toys… In the remotest corner of my cupboard i found it… Dusty black... Showing 8:23 when it was 6 around... I called Surbhi to tell her, and then packed it…

We left 4 Firozabad next day... While unpacking, it was again nowhere seen..

Losing things and finding them where they were never expected to be found... It’s a good-good feeling… Mom told me that she found a watch, in some of our belongings we left in one of our house in Bulandshar, while moving from New Tehri in 97 around…

However, losing it and finding it somewhere unexpected… happens to love as well…

valentine's day!!

2011-02-14T11:11:00.000-08:00

Although it seems the echo would soon die; this little thing wouldn't be read by you.. probably by few friends of mine. Yet it has few little words of love, heartfelt and pure, dedicated to you Delilah... my happiness. from your valentine.

Its complicated, to explain what my situation is, things are happening to me... finally, the way you wanted, I'm how so ever not liking it. I wonder if that would make you genuinely happy, or would pinch somewhere in the deep of your heart; I hate this thing with you, you never make it clear how you actually feel. But for I love you, n you know that... I wanna tell this...

I don't know about the future, but the way it see, it seems like its not gonna be with you (you have a reason for it, right?... I hate that it's unexplainable). But even if we wont be together... I will remember you till my memory will last, or breath will; you would hold a place in my heart, which will never be replaced... All differently, I will love, as you have asked me to (however, it depends to the condition, if the next one me love me too ;) which stands rare chances in my guess).

To tell you I'm currently smiling. And just before I end, I will thank you... for your coming to my life and giving me a vision, a perspective, an understanding of life and love... which I wouldn't have ever known... Thanks for teaching me to love... n for being there...

love...

What's banging inside??

2011-02-13T07:10:00.000-08:00

It's a thought weird, weird because it can bring an end to the beautiful thing we have... or can make it more beautiful, however guessing the probability of one of the two is very difficult.
It's at times different when I see her now... It's an admiring gaze rather than just a look. She is a friend; a very good one indeed.
I wonder where it is going.. I'm just trying to stay normal... I'm keeping my fingers crossed cause losing her is not an option.
Also there is another constraint, My Perfect Stranger... I care for her.. I know.

Strangest thing I have encountered ever since I was born is my life itself...

later...

Harshal's Someone Special...

2010-08-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

The day before we all went to meet Harshal's someone special... we include me, Aditya (Fr@ud), Dinesh and Rakshita... Avantika wasnt able to come, for it was heavily raining it that area, but we have pics for her. Anyways, the day was about Harshal and Aanchal; So about Harshal, A dear friend he is, a great guy, sweet and dependable. Aanchal, is the girl he deserves, might be possessing one of the purest heart present on the earth. They obviously look great together... oh yes, a poetess Aanchal is, n with her Harshal too is rising in creativity. I remember 'Creative hearts fall more deeply in love'.. n wish it to be true from the deepest of my heart.
Harshal obviously in love with her, I wonder who not will fall. n I'm too sure Aanchal will be happy with Harshal.

Ok, now its too late (Rohan is wanting me to give up internet n talk) . Got to end the post.
SO finally, wishing long and healthy relationship to them. n wondering when my someone special will come...
:)

The weekend Postings

2010-07-07T23:37:00.000-07:00

Today (which is not the weekend), I start this weekly updated blog for summing up all that happened with me, around me in the preceding week. Hopefully, it is gonna be humorous and witty, hopefully you are gonna like it... 'The weekend postings' is my second blog; the first one ' www.abitofshobhit.blog.com ' contains my creative writings and poems; this one however will contain my life story.

With a hope of happiness for everyone around, I end this first post.

stay alive...